Lost in Graduation

May 2016

This was the last month of my senior year as a fifth year student. I was wrapping up my internship at the SJSU Counseling and Psychological Center as a video intern for my last paycheck and preparing my graduation outfit for a photoshoot and the ceremony. Thank goodness I didn’t have any exams on finals week. I couldn’t wait to get out of school and make my family proud with a Bachelor’s degree as a Dean’s Scholar (the college version of honor roll).

Behind the big smile on my face, I was suffering from anxiety and stress of entering adulthood. The adulthood of driving, paying bills and taxes, taking care of my elderly parents, finding my future lover, voting between an arrogant businessman and the controversial former first lady, and landing a job or internship that I want. So far, no one hired me after I achieved experience in 12-hour student film productions, edited video clips until my eyes dried out, and starved myself for several hours as a film extra. Working in a creative field wasn’t easy to earn an income. It would take more than five or ten years to become a well-known, respected individual. Although being a film major was physically exhausting and mentally challenging, I learned to be compassionate to others who were feeling left out in a team, to be humble of my achievements rather than being a diva, to be more social with unique individuals, to not take failures and criticisms negatively, and to be committed to sacrifice laziness to help my team wrap up filming after midnight. These qualities changed me drastically from a loner to a slayer.

After five years of being in college, I found my identity, but uncertain on how to achieve my life goals. For now, I will continue to improve myself despite setbacks.


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